Kuroi tsubasa no Tenshi

An angel with black wings, someone fallen from grace, that is what i have seen myself as.
After half a semester in a new school, after dropping out disgracefully from university, after doing lots of things to lose a lot of trust, and racking up a lot of debt, i am glad that i have stood up and moved on. Although it may sound like bragging, i do want to keep records on my blog. 5 subjects in my first semester, business admin in Stamford College. Midterm. Lowest Score 88, average score 91.5 with one subject still unmarked. highest score 94. I would if i could, try to obtain a perfect GPA (grade point average) of 4.0 and maybe get a scholarship next semester. My ultimate aim - to transfer to University of Nevada, Las Vegas. The school with *the budget* and the lecturers to staff it.

Had a long chat with a someone i havnt met for a long long long long.... well u get the idea. I shall refer to him as J-san, Mr. J. An old buddy, the guy whom i have shared so much entertainment with, not to mention the long basketball games. The spars, the drives and the arcade madness.

Recently, i have just become the main attention of my class. Coming in at semester 1, overaged, is kinda normal in m'sia. But topping the class under those conditions, that's a bit rare. And i m a bit rare. Attention, i feel like i want it, need it, and relish in it. It is a bit irritating though, getting lotsa questions and "SOS" signals thrown at me perpetually. Accounting, Business Admin, Psychology, Intro to Computers, and what the heck, English 2 which i m not even taking?!

I should be sleeping, but the mosquitoes and the excercise this morning, which i have not gotten for a long time, has boost my metabolism rate, and i m not even near sleepy as of now. Yet, something tells me its about time to turn in. Sunday is here. No church for me. Maybe i should have a post just about why i no longer go to church. God is there. I believe in his presence. But the institutions of Man, i no longer hold any respect for. I no longer trust or can trust. I find only hypocrisy. Face value. Lip Service. Not much more than those do i see in churches.

The good stuff. I think i am rather popular with the ladies as of now. Self-suppression is a good strategy. Not trying to impress, but just be impressively normal, i think that is the secret to popularity. Good Clean Hard Work. Also, i think i now have a real crush on someone. No names of course. She might be reading. Or maybe her guy might find this blog (uh yeah, she's attached as of now, but the saying goes "potong jalan") and plot my eventually tragic death.

Of course, she is not especially pretty, nor elegant, nor model like. Just kinda plain, gentle, soft-spoken. And accepting. yes. that is the good part. The aspect i try to find.

Although all the above seems rather incomplete, they are meant to be read as a random flow of thoughts from my overactive mind. The mind that so oftenly rebels against normal sleep hours. For now, this shall end here. My first blog.

and to end, the song that has blended much with my inner self. One More Angel by Weiss.

sekaijyuu teki ni mawasu boku to kimi
=in this world you and i revolve as enemies
kono hoshi ni nokosareta ai sagasu tabi
=a journey to search for the love that remained within these stars
kono nukumori de futari sotto tsutsumarete
=the two of us gently wrapped in this embrace
hajimete ikita kioku tadotte nemuru
=the memory that had just begun to live follows into sleep

One More Time doko ka de miteru kami e
=One More Time towards the God that is seen somewhere
One More Angel mou sukoshi matte hoshii
=One More Angel wishing to wait a little longer
One More Time kumo no ue no tenshi ni
=One More Time with the angels above the clouds
One More Angel futari kuwaeru sadame wo
=One More Angel is the fate that both of us add up to
Leave Me Hold Me Now

sekaijyuu utsusu kagami atta nara
=in this world reflecting mirrors exist,
nikushimi ga utsurimasu ka ai desu ka
=is hatred reflected? or is it love?
saigo no yoru ga oriru kimi ga tsubuyaita
=the last night falls you whispered
omoide wa bokutachi wo sukuu darou ka
=surely our memories would save us?

One More Time haruka de miteru kami e
=One More Time towards the God that is seen in the distance
One More Angel tenshi ni mesaremasu ka
=One More Angel are we seduced by angels?
One More Time kegarenai hohoemi wo
=One More Time is the untainted smile
One More Angel anata wa ubau no desu ka
=One More Angel snatched away by you?