Velvet Underwear?

Suddenly thought of this song - Velvet Underworld, by Weiss. Sung by the 4 famous seiyuu, this really rocks. I have always thought of parts of the lyrics.


Velvet Underworld

Shinku no juutan ni nita
kono yo no hana wa mina omote
sono shita ni nagareru yami
kanashimi wa soko kara umare
aa, kokoro sae itsuwatte ikiruno ka
hito wa sadame ni ayatsurareru dake

Like a crimson carpet
The flowers of this world scatter
In the flowing darkness below
There Sadness is born
Ah, is the heart made to deceive?
People are just the puppets of fate

tada, itoshiki mono dakishime
chiisaki mono mamoru tame
kyou mo dare ka ga sakebu
kono inochi sae mo nagedashi
toki no naka de moetsukiru
sono isshun ni kuchizuke wo

Just that, to embrace those we love
To protect the small ones
Today again someone shouts
I would even give this life away
And burn away in time
For the kiss of this moment.

yokubou ni yogoreta machi
fukinukeru kaze dake sora e
fuminiji rarete yuku ai
te no hira ni nokotta namida
aa, egao made ubawarete ikiru no ka
dare mo kizutsuki kokoro mo naiteru

In this greed-stained city
The sky has but the blowing wind
Of this trampled love,
Only the tears in our hands remain
Ah, were smiles only meant to be taken?
All who are hurt, their hearts are weeping

ima, hizamazuite inori o
kakan nai mono mamoritai
mune ni juuji o kizamu
kono tomerarenai nani ka o
osaerareru tamashii o
tada shinjitai itsu made mo

Now,those kneeling in prayer
the timid ones, I will protect
By carving the cross on my chest
This unstoppable being
An unsuppressed spirit
Just believe in them, forever

kumo ga kiete hoshi ga mieru
kaze ga tomari tori ga utau
umi ga hikari sora ni tokeru
yoru ga owari kimi o kanjiru

The clouds disperse, the stars appear
The wind stops, the birds sing
The ocean shines, the sky melts
The night ends, I feel you

A bit about the song. Long before i even understood more than a few words of Jap, i fell in love with the music for this song. Yet now i want to share the lyrics instead. I can feel the deep desire in it, the desire to protect, to silently protect until one gives up life to do so. How else can love better manifest itself?

While it seems that there is obviously something wrong, since i cant seem to put all i want to say at the end of the lyrics, i would have to put if up here. The word wrap function does not work, neither does trying to paste anything down there work. Might be due to the plain text i pasted in for the lyrics. Maybe. Maybe not.

Anyway, this song really hits with me. The desire to protect someone, to protect the weak, i find righteousness in that thought. Willing to bear the cross upon oneself, to be stigmatized, I find that a very noble thought. The people i know, few are willing too, even if able to. The last four phrases, i find nice as well. Very poetic. The feeling of ascension. The clouds opening up to a starry night, the sea shining, the birds singing after the gale passes.

What does this song have to do with me now? Nothing much though. Except maybe what i want to protect is my harddisk with its collection of hent... i mean resources and anime. Yup!! That's it!! Resources and Anime!! No bull at all!! Its all clean as a piece of gardenia!!

There is someone i want to protect

I have to come to terms with this. No, its not that i like someone. Its a bit higher than that. I do not think its love, but its something close to that. Pity? Sympathy? No. But still, after so many years of not seeing her, i still long for her presence, i long for her care, i long to care for her.

Tonight will be a rather sleepless night. But well. Night...

Dedication, the song How To See You Again by Move to the friends i have not seen for a long time. J-zan, Veng, Wai, Aik aka CelicaGT4 aka Kamiyama Aik aka Ivan, G-force, Stella Wai, yyshin, wwkoonz, Kelvin Low, Martin, Wij, Gabe, Jeff, and many others. Hopefully we meet in the near future. Oh yeah, it especially goes out to Benny as well, the Benny who likes shut up and shares my enjoyment of Superman by Eminem.

Hana ni narou~

To become a flower. what? am i nuts? its just a quote from a song. Hana by orange range. Anyway, since i saved the lyrics from a translation site, i m gonna post it. All of it while i am still high from some wine at my cousin's wedding just now. It was a nice garden wedding. Fantastic. When i get married, maybe it will could be something like that. Just maybe.

Before this, while sorting thru my mails in my hotmail account a few days ago, i saw this author whose name i havnt seen for a long time. Let's call her S (yes, its a she). The fond memories started rushing back as i remembered the good times we had. J-san described it with a very apt phrase: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Fonder~ fonder~ fondle~ oops. that wasnt quite right. Anyway, i emailed her, hoping she would reply, half of me really scared that she wouldnt reply, the other half in panic about what to say if she did reply. And God Blessed me. She replied. And i was always under the impression that she hated me. At least i used to be ignored quite often. Maybe i was just an over-eager dog. I dunno. But S really replied me.

To me, S used to be everything, my support, my precious. The only one i thought of day and night. The only one i could turn to. The one who attracts me to church. The one person i dream of being together with, everyday, all the time, for ever. But alas. i think she didnt like me at all then. I think i was nothing to her, or i was scary. What with that rotten show off attitude of mine. The spoilt brat attitude. I know. Hard to digest. Hard to like. I m just trying to be myself, unashamed, uncovered, unleashed.

Too bad. Now that i finally got closer to her(or maybe otherwise, words may deceive), she is in australia. I dunno. I cant find anything to tell her anymore. I have lost my touch for words. But she is in fact, the one i still think of from time to time. The only one i really want it seems. I used to pray hard for her, for her company, companionship, and even just a bit of attention from her. Ah, those times were nice. I wished she was by my side, or that i could be by her side. Sad. this is not possible. so all i can do is =) and accept that this is it.

If God was somewhere out there, i would have thought this impossible for even Him. Should be. It would be a miracle if she could actually be by my side and live with me. Nah. just my parents would make it a mere impossibility. So why bother. Friendship, before anything else.

In school, i am mister nice guy. The intellectual. But i m therefore a non romantic person. I can flirt and joke, but that's entertaining humour. Nothing more. I am no more attractive to the girls than a giant walking talking and problem solving textbook or computer. But at least, i am achieving more this way. At least i am gaining attention as a model student. A model student who loves basketball and pingpong. But that is all. Sighz. The little that i can actually do about my image. sianz. Damnz. oh well, enough of self-pity and complaining like a spoilt brat. Here are the lyrics for: Orange Range - Hana. I like this. Maybe J-san will too.

Orange Range - Hana
hanabira no you ni chiri yuku naka de
yume mitai ni kimi ni deaeta kiseki
ai shi atte kenka shite
ironna kabe futari de nori koete
umare kawatte mo anata no soba de hana ni narou

Amidst us scattering like flower petals
It was a dream-like miracle that I met you
We love each other, we fight
We climb over all sorts of walls together
If I'm reborn, I'll be a flower by your side

itsu made mo aru no darou ka ore no maue ni aru taiyou wa
itsu made mo mamori kireru darou ka naki warai okoru kimi no hyoujou wo
izure subete naku naru no naraba futari no deai ni motto kansha shiyou
ano hi ano toki ano basho no kiseki wa
mata atarashii kiseki wo umu darou

I wonder if the sun will always be right overhead?
I wonder if I'll always be able to protect you?
Your expressions, laughing and crying
Anyway, if everything turns to nothing,
I'll be even more thankful for us having met
That day, that time, the tracks left at that place
Will again give birth to new tracks

ai suru koto de tsuyoku naru koto shinjiru koto de norikireru koto
kimi ga nakushita mono wa ima mo mune ni hora kagayaki ushinawazu ni
shiawase ni omou meguri aeta koto ore no egao torimodoseta koto
"arigatou" afureru kimochi daki susumu doutei

I become strong by loving, I make it through by believing
The things that you left behind even now glitter in my heart, not having disappeared
I think happily of when we met, I regained my smile
Embracing the overflowing feelings of "thanks", I move forward

hanabira no you ni chiri yuku naka de
yume mitai ni kimi ni deaeta kiseki
ai shi atte kenka shite
ironna kabe futari de nori koete
umare kawatte mo anata ni aitai

Amidst us scattering like flower petals
It was a dream-like miracle that I met you
We love each other, we fight
We climb over all sorts of walls together
If I'm reborn, I want to be with you

hanabira no you ni chitte yuku koto
kono sekai de subete uke irete yukou
kimi ga boku ni nokoshita mono
"ima" to iu genjitsu no takaramono
da kara boku wa seiippai ikite hana ni narou

I'm going to scatter like flower petals
I'll accept everything in this world
The thing that you left me
Is a real treasure called "now"
So living with all my might, I'll be a flower

hana wa nande kareru no darou
tori wa nande toberu no darou
kaze wa nande fuku no darou
tsuki wa nande akari terasu no

Why do flowers wither?
Why do birds fly?
Why does the wind blow?
Why does the moon light up?

naze boku wa koko ni iru n darou
naze kimi wa koko ni iru n darou
naze kimi ni deaeta n darou
kimi ni deaeta koto sore wa unmei

Why am I here?
Why are you here?
Why did I meet you?
Meeting you, that was fate

hanabira no you ni chiri yuku naka de
yume mitai ni kimi ni deaeta kiseki
ai shi atte kenka shite
ironna kabe futari de nori koete
umare kawatte mo anata ni aitai

Amidst us scattering like flower petals
It was a dream-like miracle that I met you
We love each other, we fight
We climb over all sorts of walls together
If I'm reborn, I want to be with you

hanabira no you ni chitte yuku koto
kono sekai de subete uke irete yukou
kimi ga boku ni nokoshita mono
"ima" to iu genjitsu no takaramono
da kara boku wa seiippai ikite hana ni narou

I'm going to scatter like flower petals
I'll accept everything in this world
The thing that you left me
Is a real treasure called "now"
So living with all my might, I'll be a flower

ame agari niji kakari ao arashi ni umareshi hikari
koko ni yuruginai taisetsu na mono
kizuiteru "ai suru" to iu koto
mada arukeru darou? mieteru n da mou
"omoi" toki wo koe eien ni hibike
kimi no yorokobi kimi no itami kimi no subete yo
saa sakihokore motto motto motto

After the rain, a rainbow hangs in the sky, light is born in the mountain air
Right here, I become aware
Of a firm and important thing called "loving"
Can I still walk on? I can see it
My "feelings", pass through time, and echo into eternity
Your happiness, your pain, your everything
Well, bloom then in full, more and more and more

The sounds of your heart, and mine...

ah. my blog. my sweet sweet blog. tonight, another night of sleeplessness. chatting heart to heart with a very sweet gal. my fren online, who just came out of a tragic relationship. i finally, and with honour, learnt the story behind the previous rumors surrounding her and her rumoured guy.

anyway, i m glad she trusts me so much to tell me this much. abt how he n her broke off and ended on bad terms, and why they are still like strangers after so long. sure he felt betrayed, but it seemed he felt nothing when betraying the feelings of someone who loved him dearly.

ah, when u need her, u cuddle up, u go after, u really seem to love her. when u dont need her, she cant even see ur trace. when a new guy comes after her, u get all funny and u get into a shouting match with her, cos she's quiet, shy and doesnt like to argue with u? u bully. death to u!! and i thought better of u. i shall stop here with the flame. since i am no alchemist.

Anyway, the long of the short is, i get to chat with the lady who once loved you, and i once held u in high respect. maybe not as much now. But i believe it is not anyone's fault. u were frustrated too. i understand. but learn some self-control, some understanding, and some flair?

Well, by now, i gather that i should stop. cos i gave her the url for this blog. hopefully she doesnt find it offensive. its like broadcasting some things i take as being entrusted to me, for some degree of secrecy. I enjoy being trusted, and i enjoy trusting. Why did i chat with her and divulged so much? so much of my junk philosophy, so much rubbish that would have let ppl think -> this guy belongs in a mental institution.

Today, as usual, i want to post some lyrics about a song i had in mind. however, i m still trying hard to find the lyrics for that song by orange range, ishin denshin. kinda like my new favourite.

Cute and funky, the song really catches my feel. somehow. i feel like i could make more contact. but back to reality. a slow net speed. bad leeching facilities. ah. how long more will this go on. and i just completed this DIY cabinet ordered from carrefour. hopefully it wont collapse a few days later.

anyway. here it is - ishin denshin, which basically means telepathy (heart to heart)

ishin denshin
Lyrics & Music : ORANGE RANGE

hanareteru ki ga shinai ne kimi to boku to no kyori
me wo tsubutte ite mo kimi no koe de wakaru hyoujou
kimi ni aenai kara utsumuiteru
demo mae muki ni koto wo kangaeteru
sonna toki mo onaji sora no shita de sugoshiteru
sugu ni mata aeru
datte itsu mo bokura wa tsungatte iru n da

I don't feel that we're seperated, with the distance between us
Even if I shut my eyes, I know your expression from your voice
I hang my head because I can't be with you
But I think positively
In times like that, we pass beneath the same sky
We'll see each other again soon
But we're always connected to one another

bokura wa itsu mo ishin denshin futari no kyori tsunagu terepashii
koi nante nana korobi ya oki yasashii kaze hora egao ni kaete
hanareteta tte ishin denshin damatteta tte wakaru kimochi
omoi yo todoke kimi no moto ni mirai ni tsunaideku shingou wa ai no messeeji

The distance between us is always bridged by telepathy
Love is getting up after a fall; look, the gentle wind is changing into a smile
Being seperated with telepathy; we're silent, and understand each other's feelings
Reach out, my feelings, to where you are; connected to the future, the signal is a message of love

kono hiroi unabara koe
onaji toki wo sugoshite
kono omoi yokaze ni nose
hiza wo daku kimi ni todoke

Crossing the vast sea
Passing the same time
Putting my feelings on the night wind
Holding my knees, let them reach you

kimi ni aenakute mo daijoubu
sou, mae muki ni koto wo kangaeteru
hanaretete mo onaji sora no shita de sugoshiteru
sugu ni mata aeru
datte itsu mo bokura wa tsungatteru n da

It's alright, even if I can't be with you
That's right, I think positively
Even though we're apart, we're passing beneath the same sky
We'll see each other again soon
But we're always connected to one another

bokura wa itsu mo ishin denshin futari no kyori tsunagu terepashii
koi nante nana korobi ya oki yasashii kaze hora egao ni kaete
hanareteta tte ishin denshin damatteta tte wakaru kimochi
omoi yo todoke kimi no moto ni mirai ni tsunaideku shingou wa ai no messeeji

The distance between us is always bridged by telepathy
Love is getting up after a fall; look, the gentle wind is changing into a smile
Being seperated with telepathy; we're silent, and understand each other's feelings
Reach out, my feelings, to where you are; connected to the future, the signal is a message of love

How sweet. how nice. if only we all have that someone who understands us as though we had telepathy. oh well, we just cant have everything, can we? i for one, will just learn to be content with what i have now, and hope that 'she' will come along sooner or later. maybe later. i dunno. i've decided to post another song, but later. hana, by orange range i found that song rather sentimental, and rather touching. warming. it speaks to the me inside.

Its like a sacrificial love that goes unnoticed. but well, that might be just my own interpretation of the feel of the music. more than anything else. the lyrics arent that extreme of course.

Now i m feeling stressed to the limit. no slacking. work hard to the final stride, and perhaps, next semester or next 5 subjects could be free. on a scholarship. yeah. and that would save me precious thousands of ringgit. hopefully the end of this year i will get to follow my dad on his trip to reno, nevada for his business meeting. If i do get the chance to go, it will really be my first trip to somewhere on the northern hemisphere. I've been to the southern half of the globe, but that was when i was only 8, how could i remember much? nothing really left any impact. or most of it seems lost somehow. cant remember anything. ah. pathetic me.

wrapping up, i really thank her for trusting me, and accepting my painful honesty. I know, low EQ. that's just me. typical me. but really, thank you for chatting with me, for so long. i shouldnt continue, at least not when listening to tracks from the anime "beyond the clouds, the promised place".